The Light In My Darkness
by The Silent Beast
Summary: Kira Oatken is a young adult with depression and a little too much misfortune in her life and one day decides to end it all, but what happens when it drops her in Tokyo Ghoul. This is my first fanfic and rated M for safety and maybe future chapters. Also some events in the amine/manga may not ank You And Enjoy.


**_Chapter 1: It's an illness not a weakness_**

**Disclaimer: I do not know Tokyo Ghoul sadly but I do own all of my OC's**

My name is Kira Oatken, and when I turned eighteen I decided this world wasn't worth the effort it took to breath. To the normal eye I might look normal. It's true, I tried the whole athletic, smart and plain old normal student. But truthfully, none of that matters when you have depression. The real soul crippling kind that left you feeling empty, dead and like you were falling apart. It started out slowly back in eighth grade, exactly the same time my mother passed away and child care services shipped my sorry ass off to Tokyo. I hated every god forsaken moment. Every person that passed was judging me, every teacher didn't believe in me. Just as that mess began to settle, another storm unleashed its wrath upon me. My aunt and uncle, whom I had just learned to love and just began to trust, were ripped from my life. One drunk driver and one couple out for a movie night was enough to ensure I never saw them again. Maybe now you'll understand me better when I tell you I'm on the edge of a rather tall building, watching the cars and people pass below me, completely unaware of what I am about to do.

I ponder over the thought for a while, I'm going to kill myself. I don't consider myself a weak person, I've lived with this soul crushing sadness for years. I remember reading a quote once off the internet, something along the lines of "Depression is like drowning, yet you can see everyone around you breathing." I'd say that's pretty spot on towards my life. I used that to fuel myself to move on, forcing smiles out for those few loved ones around me, but now there is no one left to smile for. I step up to the edge as the wind sends a gust through my thick black hair. No one was left to cry for me. I thought about how my funeral would go, what they would leave on my headstone. I hope it's something honest, like "Here lies another depressed girl. No one cared until she was gone." That would be honest, maybe others would see it and know not to make the mistakes I made and am about to make. The stars are bright over the city tonight, this is one of my favorite times. It seems appropriate that it would be my last. My mother's voice plays softly in the back of my head. When I was young I had a pet gerbil that died, and I cried for hours. When my mother found me, she took me gently into her lap, wiping the tears off my face, and I'll never forget what she said. "It's alright little one. Did you know that every time someone dies, another is born?" I sniffled and she got me some hot chocolate. I breathe in deeply as hot tears threaten my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Let it be said that I was strong up until the last moment of my life. I smile, uttering out my final words. "Reality is a piece of shit." I fall, feeling so free and light weight, like nothing could ever hurt me again. Screwing my eyes shut, I wait for the impact. Yet, it doesn't come. I open my eyes, finding myself in a dark alleyway. Everything looked so…different. A wave of confusion hits me. "Where the fuck am I?"

Slowly I rise from the dirty ground, turning my head slowly to take in my surroundings. My legs shakily support me as my head swims. I try to remember where I am as a flashback hits me. I can still see the cars and lights below me. I still feel the chilly fall air blow through me. I wrap my arms around myself as another gust of freezing air whips through me. "Maybe I should go home?" I ask myself aloud. No one but the rats hear me as they scuttle by. I being walking, retracting my steps from the large building. I wander down the dark and wet street, absolutely no idea where I'm going. I stumble upon a tall apartment building that seems familiar, clambering up the steps in a daze. The top apartment has a sleek black frame. A black row of numbers glares down at me from atop the door. XIII, it seems familiar enough. I reach into my pocket, producing a shiny metal key. I slip it into the lock hearing the tumblers roll. A stupid meaningless thought pops into my mind, I wonder how the key stayed in my pocket as I fell. I drop the key in sudden realization. "How am I still alive?" I blurt out rather loud. If I had neighbors, I'm sure they would have been concerned. I tremble, picking up the key and pushing the door open. I scratch around the wall for a good three minutes before locating the light switch and flicking it on. I slam the door suddenly remembering that this might not be my house. The large room slowly comes to life as my eyes catch a shiny card upon the table. Carefully walking over I pick up the small laminated card that hangs for a dark blue lanyard.

_Name: Kira Oatken_

_Age: 18_

_Hair Color: Black_

_Eye Color: Blue_

_Height: 5'6_

Thank god for student ID's. I collapse onto the coach, breathing out slowly and realizing how tired I am. The still room mocks me with its ticking clock and an occasional random sound. "I'm okay!" I breathe out. It sounded empty. I tried again. "I'm okay!" I said. Bolder this time but still lacking in meaning. I sit up yelling. "I'M OKAY!" perfect, full of purpose and life. I lay back into the black cushions. They embrace me with their warmth and comfort and my eyelids begin to flutter. Another victim of human nature.


End file.
